A person is built over time. The building blocks start with our hard wiring or DNA, progress to the parenting we received and then to wider sphere influences like teachers and peers. In theory, if we get everything we need we learn to feel good about ourselves and to trust others. We have balance, we feel satisfied and peaceful. We sometimes call this happiness.
Whether you have an easy start in life or a challenging start is not always predictive of the course your life will take. Everyone is different. In many respects human beings are amazingly resilient and adaptive. We do our best to cope with all measure of loss, stress, challenges, conflict and things that linger from our past. Sometimes, however, the pressure is too great.
Signs your relationship is under pressure can include, constant arguing that never solves anything, not talking at all, not feeling heard or cared for, distance and cheating. Signs that you are under pressure include moodiness, trouble sleeping, eating too much or too little, withdrawing from people or activities that you once enjoyed, being angry or irritable, anxiety and addictions. Common addictions include, a regular ongoing relationship with alcohol, drug abuse, internet addiction and spending.
How Can a Counselor Help?
The big picture of anyone’s life is very complex and we all lack the ability to be totally objective about ourselves. You may have an idea of what is troubling you or your relationship that may, or may not be completely accurate. Counselors are trained to listen to your story, and your goals and to partner with you toward change. Couple counselors, especially, are required to assess how each partner impacts the health of the relationship and how to use the relationship for the benefit of both. The essence or purpose of any relationship is to be mutually gratifying so that both partners feel validated and nurtured by the other.
My Credentials, Experience and Perspective
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I received my Master’s Degree at Boston University and my field training at a Harvard University teaching hospital. I began my career in public service with families, progressed through United Way subsidized clinics and then to private practice. In private practice I began specializing in couple’s therapy.
I am very passionate about helping people with their relationships especially when there are young children involved. I also firmly believe that succeeding in partnership helps people grow and get stronger. Sadly, there are circumstances when two people are simply not good for one another. I have helped many couples come to mature and peaceful dissolution of their relationships. Using a counselor in this way minimizes the toxic and destructive aspects of breaking up and makes for a stronger co-parenting unit going forward.